Devil In Disguise

by ColonBlow

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04:46
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06:16
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03:40

credits

released April 6, 2010

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ColonBlow Monmouth, Maine

ColonBlow formed in 2006 when Ronney met Jimmy & Joe at a function. Ronney was already singing in a band, “Out of the Cellar” while Jimmy and Joe had been playing in Jimmy's basement for awhile already. Soon they played parties and they had their first bar gig. It didn't take long before Ronney & Jimmy were collaborating on original song ideas and realized that they were quite catchy. ... more

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Track Name: I Like Women
I finally figured out, after all these years;
Of deep soul searching, and too many beers.
If I ever want to make it, all the way to the end;
To hear some heavy breathing, instead of “Let’s be friends.”
That I need to mind my manners, and all that crap;
I need to sit pretty, with my hands in my lap.
I know it’s all a game, but if I wanna win;
Then I gotta act like, I don’t want to sin.

And why….Is what I ask myself
yeah why….Is what I ask myself
‘Cause I like women, they don’t like me.
Seems I’ve got too much spice in my recipe.
I started out on simmer, added too much heat.
‘Cause I like women, they just don’t like me.

Now the night’s still young, but I can hardly wait;
I look into her eyes, and tell her she looks great.
She smiles at me, with a twinkle in her eye;
I figure that’s my cue, and put my hand on her thigh.

Well she jumps up, and throws her drink in my face;
And says that I’m a pig, a complete disgrace.
I said, “Hey, what’s the problem, if you’d gone first;
You think I’d have flipped, and had a big outburst?”

And why….Is what I ask myself
yeah why….Is what I ask myself
‘Cause I like women, they don’t like me.
Seems I’ve got too much spice in my recipe.
I started out on simmer, added too much heat.
‘Cause I like women, they just don’t like me.

So again I’m sitting pretty, with my hands on my lap.
Trying to mind my manners, and all that crap.
I still don’t really get, why the big disguise.
‘Cause I can read your thoughts in your wanting eyes.

Well we all want the same thing, in the end, that’s why;
It doesn’t really matter, if you’re a girl or a guy.
So don’t get all offended, if I come on too fast;
‘Cause in the end I promise, that we’ll both have a blast.

And why….Is what I ask myself
yeah why….Is what I ask myself
‘Cause I like women, they don’t like me.
Seems I’ve got too much spice in my recipe.
I started out on simmer, added too much heat.
‘Cause I like women, they just don’t like me.
Track Name: Empty Wagon
2 o’clock, I’m still in bed
Bells ringin’ in my head
I know I should be somewhere, but I don’t know where
I think it’s work, but nobody would expect me there
Last night, memory’s blurry
I’m going nowhere in a hurry
Some people know the way I feel
It’s like driving real fast, but nobody’s behind the wheel

Uh Oh, I gotta stop drinkin' But then I start thinking
And I just can’t handle all the voices inside of my head
Uh Oh, Think I’m going crazy They all say I’m lazy
And I know I should be sober, but reality is bringin' me down

Last night we closed the bar
Can’t remember where I left my car
Woke up and I got no pants
The last time I saw them was when I was startin' to dance
My girl dumped me, said I’m a drag
Every time she sees me, I’m in the bag
I tried to find a new girl but it just didn’t work
Within a day, they all think I’m a drunken jerk

Uh Oh, I gotta stop drinkin' But then I start thinking
And I just can’t handle all the voices inside of my head
Uh Oh, Think I’m going crazy They all say I’m lazy
And I know I should be sober, but reality is bringin' me down

My life is spinnin', out of control
Waking up with my head on a toilet bowl
But last night, what a party
The only guy drunker than me was some dude named Marty
I’m gonna change, stop being a boozer
My family disowned me, they said I’m a loser
Oh what the hell, the parties are fun
I hear tonight at The Tavern, there having a rockin' one

Uh Oh, I gotta stop drinkin' But then I start thinking
And I just can’t handle all the voices inside of my head
Uh Oh, Think I’m going crazy They all say I’m lazy
And I know I should be sober, but reality is bringin' me down

Uh Oh, I gotta stop drinkin' But then I start thinking
And I just can’t handle all the voices inside of my head
Uh Oh, Think I’m going crazy They all say I’m lazy
And I know I should be sober, but reality is bringin' me down
Track Name: The Devil
Listen up fellas, this here’s a warning
About a girl I met in bed, one Sunday morning
She was something to see, a body straight from a magazine
But something behind those eyes, belied a devious being

And I’m sure-she’s not of this world
And she’s pure, pure as the driven snow Unadulterated Evil

She’s the devil in disguise, just you wait
Oh those lovely creamy thighs, they’re the bait
She’ll reel ya in, get inside your head, then eat your soul and leave ya for dead
She’s the devil in disguise, yes she is, yes she is

I gotta give her her due, she packaged that evil in a pretty nice wrapper
Disregarded all the signs, just focused on how I’s gonna tap her
Her smile will make you weak; her body’ll make you weaker
But its all trap, she’s the ultimate deceiver

And I’m sure-she’s not of this world
And she’s pure, pure as the driven snow Unadulterated Evil

She’s the devil in disguise, just you wait
Oh those lovely creamy thighs, they’re the bait
She’ll reel ya in, get inside your head, then eat your soul and leave ya for dead
She’s the devil in disguise, yes she is, yes she is

Now I’m sitting in a bar, a junkyard of broken men
We’re all telling our stories, of our own, hottie-turned-hellion
I wonder if she’s the same girl- luring in guys with her perfect caboosey
I’ll bet she’s still out there, hunting for hapless, souls like me

And I’m sure-she’s not of this world
And she’s pure, pure as the driven snow Unadulterated Evil

She’s the devil in disguise, just you wait
Oh those lovely creamy thighs, they’re the bait
She’ll reel ya in, get inside your head, then eat your soul and leave ya for dead
She’s the devil in disguise, yes she is, yes she is

And I’m sure-she’s not of this world
And she’s pure, pure as the driven snow Unadulterated Evil
Track Name: Let's Get Dirty
Well now I’m a nice guy, I know that’s plain to see.
I hold he door for old ladies and always brush my teeth.
But every now and then, I get this itchin', and my alter-ego starts-a-twitchin'.
And I start thinking about some dirty deeds.

I got a nice girl; she takes good care of herself.
She keeps the crazy part of her high up on the shelf.
But occasionally, she starts changing, and her interests, they start ranging.
And she looks at me like a hooker straight from hell.

And she says- “Let’s get dirty, I wanna get dirty knees.
Do what ever you want to do, just don’t say please.
Something deviant is what I need; I want the neighbors to hear me scream.
Let’s get dirty, do something dirty to me.”


After that I gotta go back to the normalcy of my life.
With my back all scratched from my Bengal tiger of a wife.
I’m walking kinda funny 'cause my hips are stiff, and I gotta big chunk missin’ from my lip.
I need some time to heal before another night.

And she says- “Let’s get dirty, I wanna get dirty knees.
Do what ever you want to do, just don’t say please.
Something deviant is what I need; I want the neighbors to hear me scream.
Let’s get dirty, do something dirty to me.”

Well now I’m dressed up alike a farmer, standing in my backyard.
I got the wife tied up and covered all up with lard.
I’m pretty sure the neighbor is in his room, with his video camera prepared to zoom.
If I’m gonna do this, I better make it fast and hard.

And she says- “Let’s get dirty, I wanna get dirty knees.
Do what ever you want to do, just don’t say please.
Something deviant is what I need; I want the neighbors to hear me scream.
Let’s get dirty, do something dirty to me.”

And she says- “Let’s get dirty, I wanna get dirty knees.
Do what ever you want to do, just don’t say please.
Something deviant is what I need; I want the neighbors to hear me scream.
Let’s get dirty, do something dirty to me.”

And she says- “Let’s get dirty, I wanna get dirty knees.
Do what ever you want to do, just don’t say please.
Something deviant is what I need; I want the neighbors to hear me scream.
Let’s get dirty, do something dirty to me.”
Track Name: The Boobie Song
I’m an older man now, got nothin’ to hide
Gonna tell you about, something I’ve been keepin’ bottled up inside
See there’s something that I love, I dream of every night
I wish I had a bunch, I could keep them everywhere, always one in sight

Some women think that I stare too long
I just can’t resist, watching them bounce along

I love boobies! Yes I do
Call them jugs, cans, melons, call them whatever you please
God bless the twins! I love the number two
Love the way they feel when you give ‘em a squeeze

Such a lovely thing, that soft protrusion
Hat’s off to the designer, the nipple on top was a nice inclusion

I love all kinds of them, all sizes and shapes
Especially when its cold and they look like they got their own pair of grapes

I don’t really like those little ones like Kate Moss
I like those Brittany ones, covered in chocolate sauce

I love boobies! Yes I do
Call them jugs, cans, melons, call them whatever you please
God bless the twins! I love the number two
Love the way they feel when you give ‘em a squeeze

Went to the beach, saw lots of tan, sweaty things
Has to use some self-control, to keep from runnin’ ‘round pulling strings

I know I’m not the only guy, with hooters on his mind
If you wanna hang out, my address is in the state registry online

Some girls are wearing their chests all wrong
I wish they would create, a boobie-version of the thong

I love boobies! Yes I do
Call them jugs, cans, melons, call them whatever you please
God bless the twins! I love the number two
Love the way they feel when you give ‘em a squeeze
Track Name: Pretty Bitch
Beauty is only skin-deep but it’s so damn yummy.
I just sit and stare like a dime store dummy.
I catch her eye then I turn away.
‘Cause I can’t believe she just looked my way.
She’s got long blonde hair that’s set just right.
I’ll bet that she’s going she’s going out tonight.
I wonder who she is and where she’s from.
Trying not to get caught contemplating her unholy bottom.


Pretty Bitch, she’s so damn fine.
Pretty Bitch, like a good French wine.
Pretty Bitch, can you give me a sign?
Pretty Bitch, you consume my mind.


I don’t know what it is but I’m so intrigued.
All I want to do with her is I wanna breed.
When I think back now and that look she had.
Couldn’t tell if she was happy or if she was mad.
A thousand guys would fall for her.
They’d try to speak but they’d only slur.
She’s hot and cold all at the same time.
Apathetically remote you know its such a crime.

Pretty Bitch, she’s so damn fine.
Pretty Bitch, like a good French wine.
Pretty Bitch, can you give me a sign?
Pretty Bitch, you consume my mind.

Don’t ask me now what I’m supposed to do.
Should I approach her you know I haven’t a clue.
I know I shouldn’t judge but I’ve seen it before.
‘Cause high maintenance baby is such a chore.

Pretty Bitch, she’s so damn fine.
Pretty Bitch, like a good French wine.
Pretty Bitch, can you give me a sign?
Pretty Bitch, you consume my mind.
Track Name: Wild Memories
Well someone said “Party!” and I said “Where?”
I had no cash, but I just didn’t care.
I’d worked all week for this Friday night,
And I was going out, gonna feel alright.

So we hopped into the car and put it to the floor,
We just couldn’t wait to bust through that door.
By the time we arrived, things were well under way,
So I popped me a top to wash my day away.

Most precious memories are still free, but wild memories are C.O.D. Yeah, yeah

By now I’m pretty lit and I can hardly see,
I still don’t know what gotten in to me.
But the bottle was tipped and the shots were pouring,
And I knew I didn’t want to be thought of as boring.

So I grabbed me a couple and I gulped ‘em down,
And jumped out on the floor and started dancing around.
By the end of it all, things were just a blur,
Guess that must have been, when I hooked up with her.

Most precious memories are still free, but wild memories are C.O.D. Yeah, yeah

And when I woke up the next afternoon,
Said “I won’t be doing that again- anytime soon.”
And my friend said “u-huh, okay, sure, right,
‘Cause in 3 more hours it’ll be Saturday Night!!”

If we had stopped for a moment, we should have known better,
And someday we may say, that it was a regretter.
But if I die tomorrow, it’ll be just fine,
‘cause I can say I had me a really good time.


Most precious memories are still free, but wild memories are C.O.D. Yeah, yeah

Most precious memories are still free, but wild memories are C.O.D. Yeah, yeah
Track Name: Ain't Coming Back To Me
In the past 10 days you ain’t come home at all
I tried you at work, but you won’t take my call
Something’s wrong with you, that’s what its got to be
Cuz there ain’t no way she ain’t coming back to me

I always treat you right when you cook for my friends
I even picked out the color for you to paint the fence
I left my dirty clothes so they were plain for you to see
How could it be that she ain’t coming back to me

I sleep all day and I drink all night
I don’t know how to turn off a light
The dog’s more housetrained, than I’ll ever be
I’m startin’ to think that she ain’t coming back to me

You won’t forgive me for the things I said
You told me I’m your biggest regret
I got nothin’ in my pocket but a handful of misery
Time to face the truth, she ain’t coming back to me

I started thinkin’ ‘bout how my life’s gonna be
Without you around always bitchin’ at me
It’s like I’ve been released from a penitentiary
Time to celebrate, she ain’t coming back to me
Track Name: The Taco Song
I saw this giant taco It let out a loud quif
It had a funky odor Was it chicken or beef?
If I went inside the taco What would I likely find?
Maybe some re-fried beans Coming out from behind

I wondered if the taco had a lot of cheese
And if salsa comes out where it usually pees
Would the shell be crunchy Or would it be soft and white
I guess I’ll never know unless I take a bite
Show me your taco Hike up those pants
Shake that sweet taco Make that thing dance

This great juicy taco Is much more than a snack
It’s certainly much tastier than fries and a Big Mac
A man enjoys the taco Much more than any girl
If she had to eat one She’d probably want to hurl

A taco to a man is a tasty little dish
But you had better beware if the taco smells like fish
Don’t call it a bearded clam or even a camel toe
“Taco” is it’s name and it’s best friend is Joe

Show me your taco Hike up those pants
Shake that sweet taco Make that thing dance

So hail to the taco Bow down and give it praise
Maybe give it a little lick or Just a long and loving gaze
Front taco or back taco Each has its own appeal
The front has built in floss When you finish the meal

Oh, taco, taco, you’re funny when you dance
You make all the woodies bust right out their pants
I love it 'cause it's flexible Even when it bends
Oh, big puffy taco you’re my best friend

Show me your taco Hike up those pants
Shake that sweet taco Make that thing dance

Show me your taco Hike up those pants
Shake that sweet taco Make that thing dance
Track Name: Better Way
Seems like there’s always something, bigger than me, blocking my way
And I always find myself, on the ground, at the end of the day
I’m standing at a crossroads, every time I look, I’m faced with choosing
No matter what team I’m on, it always seems, like I’m losing
I’ve got to find a way

If I put my life on a shelf (If I put my life on a shelf)
Maybe I could see, just what I’m doing wrong
I’m just like everybody else (I’m just like everybody else)
Trying to find my way, down this crazy road

Keep looking for a sign, everywhere I turn, that things are gonna change
Seeking solace in a bottle, to get away, and hide the pain
Don’t know what I’ve done wrong, in my life, to be punished this way
I’ve tried so damn hard, I know I’ve tried, every Goddamn day
I’ve got to find a way

If I put my life on a shelf (If I put my life on a shelf)
Maybe I could see, just what I’m doing wrong
I’m just like everybody else (I’m just like everybody else)
Trying to find my way, down this crazy road

I can’t live this way. There’s too much I wanna do. I’m gonna find me a better way

Tomorrow is a new day, and I’ll try, with all my might
To put the past behind me, and steel myself, for another fight
I’m gonna take the cards I’m given, play ‘em right, and try to win
‘Cause giving up is not an option, and I’m not, no I’m not, giving in
I’ve got to find a way

If I put my life on a shelf (If I put my life on a shelf)
Maybe I could see, just what I’m doing wrong
I’m just like everybody else (I’m just like everybody else)
Trying to find my way, down this crazy road

If I put my life on a shelf (If I put my life on a shelf)
Maybe I could see, just what I’m doing wrong
I’m just like everybody else (I’m just like everybody else)
Trying to find my way, down this crazy road
Track Name: Town Fathers
Morning takes them out of bed.
No need for clocks, it’s in their heads.
Brush their teeth and head right out the door.

Same ol’ place at 6:15.
Everyone knows their routine.
Not a single one of them would ask for more.
Each one arrives and takes their seat
“Good morning to you”, is usually how they greet.
Watching cars go by out on the street. (Drums)

“So, what’s in the news today?”
“Same ol’ same ol’ everyday.”
“It looks like mostly sun again this week.”

“My bride’s going to the mall.”
“I’m waiting for my son to call.”
“Gotta fix my roof it’s got another leak.”

Every morning it’s their standard fare.
You can always find them sitting there.
The smell of coffee drifting through the air.

Then one day a change had come.
As they arrived there one by one.
They knew that things could never be the same.

Sirens blasting all around.
Changed the landscape of their town.
As they stood and watched it all go up in flames.

A mist began to fill their eyes.
As they thought about the how’s and when’s and whys.
The feeling old men get when an old man dies. (Drums end)

Weeks go by and time it heals.
As he listens to his grandkids squeals.
Sipping on the coffee his wife made.

Reads the paper, nothings changed.
Yet somehow nothing is the same.
He thinks about the debts that he has paid.

He realizes that his life good.
Wouldn’t change a thing about it if he could.
He stands as tall as any man has stood.

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